Teens are often portrayed as back-talking, eye-rolling, insubordinate sloths. Media reinforces the idea that teens are running wild and can’t be trusted, leading to an impression that teenagers are scary, uncontrollable and manipulative.Those of us who work closely with teenagers typically see a different picture. While it is true that teens have some limitations related to normal development, experience and maturity, they are capable of making good decisions when they are given clear information and support.
Developmentally, teens lack the ability to understand some of the consequences of their behavior. Teen brains need context, repetition and reinforcement to support memory and learning. A teenager’s emotional intelligence may not be fully formed to clearly articulate their needs and feelings. To address these teen characteristics the staff at HiTOPS has developed certain skills to help young people succeed.
Teens need adults in their lives who mentor, guide, support and care for and about them. Here are some guidelines for communicating with the teens in your life.
• Listen to teens and really hear their feelings, needs and concerns.
• Ask open-ended questions such as “how did you feel when your friend said that?” “What ideas do you have for solving that problem?” “What about this situation makes you most angry,afraid, excited, happy?”
• Speak with teens and not to them.
a) Empower them to think of solutions and offer support and guidance, rather
than rules
b) Expect teens to work hard, have high standards and provide support
c) Reward effort all along the way; everyone needs positive reinforcement when
a task is hard.
• Be willing to explain the steps of a process, slowly and clearly, and not in an exasperated or condescending way.
For more tips, call 609-683-5155 ext. 215, or email ecasparian@hitops.org.
